It's A Classic
by obsidianLight16
Summary: Deidara has a BIG problem and he comes to realize that band-aids can't solve everything. Luckily he has such great friends to point it out. Modern AU


**A/N: This happened to me yesterday. Well, along these lines anyway. And then I thought- why not write a story and see how it turns out. So here it is!**

**Warning: Language, OOC, anything else you find needs one. **

**Disclaimer: Not my characters but it IS my story. And soon, I will take over Naruto for myself. **

**"..."**

***deadpans* That's never going to happen...**

* * *

><p>Deidara was a very manly man.<p>

So manly, that the high-pitched scream that erupted from his room that morning couldn't possibly be his.

The fourteen year old blonde fell out of his bed, face-planting with the floor and almost breaking his nose in the process. He felt his face for any forming bruises when his fingers brushed over the one thing that had caused him to wake up in such horror to begin with.

Right next to his right eyebrow, so close it was almost touching it, was a giant obtrusion.

And it hurt like a bitch!

He crawled over to his dresser and slowly pulled himself up to gaze into the mirror over top, eyes wide.

A giant zit stared at him.

He stared back.

And screamed again.

"Will you _shut up_?" a voice shouted from outside his door.

Deidara snapped his head over his shoulder, glaring at nothing in particular. "Shut up yourself un!"

"Oh real nice one," came the sarcastic retort.

"Damn cousin," Deidara muttered as he changed out of his night clothes into a casual t-shirt and cargo shirts.

He lived in a fairly large apartment with his older cousin Sasori who was in college. Deidara was only staying with him because his parents moved out of the country for a while and the redhead was the only one closest to the junior high school he went to. And thus, they ended up stuck together for the next few months.

Sasori didn't like him and he didn't like Sasori, but they managed to get along at times.

After all- Sasori was kind of cool, and Deidara was kind of a dork.

The blonde started to brush out his hair, plopping down at his desk chair and turning on his computer. He had no plans that day and didn't intend on leaving his room with the new friend on his head.

Before he even had the chance to open up his Internet browser and log onto AIM, a webcam screen popped up onto his monitor,

"Hey loser!" His friend cheerfully greeted.

Deidara slapped a hand over his right eye. "Hi!" he greeted a bit too enthusiastically.

Apparently Pein thought so too, because he gave the blonde an odd look. He wore a blue beater and basketball shorts, lounging lazily in his chair with a hand on his mouse. "What's with you?" the seventeen year old asked.

"Nothing," Deidara said. "What do you want un?"

"I was going to ask you to hang out with us today," Pein started to say, "but you look…occupied."

"I'm not that busy," Deidara grumbled, momentarily forgetting about the…_thing _growing on his forehead.

"Why are you covering your face then?" a new voice asked.

Deidara watched as Pein was shoved over in his seat and a familiar raven moved into the screen.

"I'm not covering my face," Deidara lied. Which was completely unnecessary seeing as his hand was still over his eye.

"Whatever you say," Itachi said, looking amused. He wore a blue and red hat, black t-shirt, and cargo shorts. "Did someone beat you up again?"

"_No_." Deidara gave both teens a dirty look.

"Just checking," the sixteen year old grinned.

"And if you did," Pein intervened, "you don't have to make it look so obvious."

"I told you it's not like that un!" Deidara exclaimed.

They were both well into high school, but had hung around the blonde for as long as he remembered.

He still had yet to figure out why.

"So why did you bother me this early in the morning again?" Deidara asked.

"We were gonna head to the amusement park with a few friends and wanted to know if you'd come," Itachi told him, looking as if he was going to question what was hidden beneath his hand again.

"Mmhmm, yeah, sounds good to me," Deidara hastily said, seeing the expression on Itachi's face.

"Yeah well…" Pein continued to give the blonde a weird look, "we'll meet you by the corner café. Just don't be late."

"Okay, okay un," Deidara quickly agreed before shutting the webcam off.

He sat in silence for all of three seconds before scrambling out his desk chair and running to the mirror on the other side of the room. He poked the pimple on his eyebrow and groaned loudly in despair.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this…?" he mumbled, trailing his eyes over his dresser.

They landed on a box of band-aids.

His eyes lit up.

"Oh _I _know…"

~X~

Five minutes later he walked out from his bedroom with two small band-aids crossing over top his brow. He knew his older cousin was in the kitchen judging by the smell of food wafting throughout the apartment and immediately made it a priority not to look the redhead in the eye.

"Morning dork," Sasori greeted from the table as he walked in. He had a plate of toast and eggs on one side of him and a laptop on the other, the latter which he was typing on.

"Yeah- hi," Deidara shortly replied, keeping his head down while searching for his bag and glasses. To his ever-growing joy he found it was right in front of Sasori on the table. Now how to go about this without letting the other man see his face…?

"So why are you avoiding looking at me?" Sasori asked in a bored tone.

"I'm not un."

"You're staring at the floor."

Deidara rolled his eyes, lifting his head to stare at the redhead.

"…"

"What hmm?"

"Well _that's _not obvious at all," Sasori dryly said, eyeing the band-aids on his cousin's face. "You're such an idiot."

Deidara scowled, grabbing his shoulder bag and glasses off the table before putting them both on. "Oh shut up. It's just a cut un," he muttered, taking a piece of toast off Sasori's plate.

"Right…" Sasori scoffed. "Is the zit that bad?"

"Yeah, really-" Deidara _almost _choked on the bread he was eating. "H-How did you know?"

"Classic band-aid over the forehead," his cousin said with a short laugh. "Everyone knows that trick. It won't fool anyone."

"We'll see," Deidara harrumphed, beginning to walk out the room.

Sasori lifted a brow. "And you're going…?"

"Out with friends." Deidara pushed his glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose. "Does it matter?"

"Oh good," the redhead said, turning his attention back to his laptop. "Maybe they can smack some sense into you."

"I hate you un."

"Have fun~"

~X~

Deidara walked quite subconsciously down the city's main square, trying to avoid the bustling people and odd glances sent his way. He ignored Sasori's echoing words in favor of greeting his two friends waiting on the corner of the street he was on. "Hey Itachi, Pein un."

The two turned around from where they had been talking, still dressed in the clothes they had been wearing over the webcam. Their eyes immediately honed in on his forehead.

"Good…morning," Itachi slowly said.

Pein blinked. "So what's beneath the band-aid?"

Itachi punched him in the arm.

"Ow! I was just asking," Pein said while rubbing his arm.

"What do you mean?" Deidara half mumbled. "I just fell out my bed this morning and hit my head. There's a pretty ugly looking bruise."

"Then why cover it up?" Pein questioned. "Every man likes to show off his battle scars."

"Not me," Deidara muttered.

"Well that's because you're not a man," Pein said with a laugh.

Deidara kicked him in the shin.

"Hey- watch it!" Pein cried, holding onto his throbbing kneecap.

Itachi rolled his eyes at the older teen. "You deserved it," he said.

"You two are both stupid," Deidara said. "Can we just get going? I don't like being surrounded by all these people un."

Itachi and Pein grinned at one another before leaning forward and ripping the two band-aids off from the blonde's head.

Deidara let out an unmanly shriek, clapping his hands over his eyebrow as his skin was exposed. "W-What the hell are you two doing un?"

"What century were you _born _in?" Itachi asked, laughing slightly. "It's so obvious."

Deidara's face formed an upset glower. "What are you talking about?" he asked, trying to divert the attention from his forehead. Which was pretty impossible seeing how he was holding his arms above his head.

Pein grabbed his arms in a tight grip, snickering as he pulled Deidara's hands away from his face. "We're talking about that giant _zit _you're trying to hide."

"It's not a-!" Deidara took in a sharp breath of air as his face was fully revealed.

"…"

"…"

Pein stared with wide eyes, stepping back with a horrified expression. "Oh my-" he turned away, holding a hand over his mouth. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Deidara turned his head in embarrassment, feeling his cheeks burn with shame. "Shut up. It's not like I can help it."

Itachi stared. "It's humongous."

"No shit!" Deidara snapped, beginning to get angry.

Itachi frowned at him. "That's what you get for eating all those sweets. I warned you beforehand about those twinkies last night. But you didn't listen to your best friend, and now you've got a second head growing there-"

"Okay! I get it!" Deidara exclaimed in frustration. "And quit with the gagging already!" he yelled at Pein.

His friend held up his arms in mock surrender with a grin. "It's better than what the others will do," he said.

Deidara felt his face drop. He had forgotten that they were meeting up with Hidan and Kisame. And those two would _definitely _make a loud commotion about the new addition to his features. Something like…

"_And you say _I _look weird?"_

"_Dear LORD- WHAT THE FUCK _IS _THAT!"_

"_Geez…you're such a loser."_

"_Definitely a loser…"_

Deidara snapped out of his tiny nightmare, beginning to panic. "I have to go back home until this thing disappears!"

Itachi raised a brow. "What are you talking about? No you don't."

"You don't understand hmm," Deidara muttered in a paranoid manner, furtively glancing around. "I have self-esteem issues! Everyone's going to point and stare at me. I know it!"

"Nobody is going to stare at you Dei," Pein said with an exasperated sigh, throwing down his arms.

Deidara peered hopefully at his friend. "You think so?"

"Oh I _know _so," Pein snickered. "Because everyone is going to be too busy running away in horror to stare!"

Itachi's eyes widened as a hand came up to cover his mouth in an effort to hold back his laughter.

It didn't work.

Soon, everyone that walked past was pausing to glance at the laughing pair.

Deidara glared at his so-called friends and then turned on his heel to walk away.

Itachi smiled and slung arm around his shoulder before placing his hat on top the blonde's head. "We're just messing with you Dei. Come on, we'll make sure no one bothers you."

Deidara pulled the bridge of the hat down, hiding a smile. "You better un."

"Can't say the same for Pein though…" Itachi mused, stroking his chin with his free hand.

Deidara blinked. "Huh?"

Pein laughed and clapped both of his friends on the back before running by and ripping the hat off Deidara's head. "Ha! Nice zit idiot!" he loudly yelled for everyone to hear.

Deidara gaped in horror.

And then chased his moronic friend through the crowded streets, a hand clamped over his eyebrow and scowl on his face.

"Y-You stupid turd un!"

Itachi watched the two vanish from sight and then shook his head with a sigh.

Now he had to go off and find the two morons.

~X~

Around eleven o' clock at night, Deidara stumbled back into his apartment, steps unsteady and groggy beyond disbelief. He kicked his shoes off at the door and then wandered into the living room where he found his older cousin reading a book on the sitting chair by a lamp.

Sasori looked at him over the bridge of his reading glasses, a smirk coming onto his face. "I told you your little trick wouldn't work."

"Whatever," Deidara muttered, throwing himself face-first onto the couch across from the redhead.

Silence reigned over the two for the next few minutes as Sasori finished the last pages of the chapter he was on. And then-

"So…how many eyes did you poke out with that thing today anyway?"

"Shut up un!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah... I dunno. This is just how it turned out to be. **

**Hope it wasn't bad :P**


End file.
